Sex Therapy – sexual difficulty is rarely only about sex
Desire, arousal, orgasm and intimacy are shaped by emotional history, attachment, shame, stress, neurodivergence and the wider relational field in which a person lives. When sexual functioning shifts or falters, it often reflects something more complex than performance alone—something that can feel frustrating, confusing, or even isolating.
Common presentations
For some, this presents as:
- loss of desire
- difficulty reaching orgasm, or
- pain during intercourse.
For others it may involve:
- premature ejaculation
- difficulties with erection
- delayed ejaculation, or
- a sense of disconnection from sexual experience altogether.
These experiences are understandable and common, and you are not alone in navigating them. They can affect self-image, mood and relational closeness and may lead to avoidance, secrecy or escalating frustration over time.
Approach to therapy
My approach to sex therapy is psychotherapeutic rather than purely behavioural. While techniques and psychoeducation certainly have an important place, sustainable change tends to emerge from understanding the emotional and relational patterns that organise sexual life. Questions of power, vulnerability, fantasy, control, shame and longing are often present beneath the surface of what appears to be a functional problem.
For some, sexual behaviour itself has become compulsive, secretive or difficult to regulate. In such cases, the work moves beyond questions of performance or desire and towards understanding the emotional, relational and regulatory functions the behaviour has come to serve.
Where ADHD or other forms of neurodivergence are present, differences in attention, regulation, impulsivity or sensory processing can significantly shape sexual experience and relational dynamics. These are approached not as deficits, but as part of a wider psychological organisation that can be understood and worked with.
Medical considerations
Some sexual difficulties have an underlying medical component. Where appropriate, consultation with a GP or sexual health specialist may be important in order to rule out hormonal, vascular or medication-related factors. I work with this reality rather than against it. Psychological and physiological dimensions are often interwoven.
The work itself
The work itself is steady and conversational. We work together at a pace that feels safe and manageable, exploring what matters to you. There is space to speak openly about areas that may previously have felt unspeakable, but doing so within the saftey of a boundaried space and process, which can feel very holding for many people. Sexual material is approached thoughtfully and professionally, within a clear therapeutic frame. Over time, patterns that have felt stuck can begin to shift as they are understood in context.
Individual and couples work
Sex therapy may be undertaken individually or, where appropriate, alongside couples work. If this resonates with you, reaching out can be a first step toward understanding, clarity and a more fulfilling sexual life together.
Location and fit
I work in person in Bristol, (BS1) and online across the UK and internationally. As with all my work, I review enquiries carefully to ensure that this form of therapy is appropriate and that there is a good therapeutic fit.
