Couples counselling and psychotherapy
Even in close relationships, certain conversations become difficult to have. Not because they are unclear, but because what is at stake feels too charged, too exposing or too likely to unsettle what is already fragile.
Couples come to work with me when patterns of relating no longer feel workable. This may involve communication breakdown, emotional distance or repeated conflict. Often it includes the impact of ADHD or other neurodivergence on attention, regulation and intimacy. For some couples, difficulties centre on sex, desire, "secrecy" or trust. For others, the question is whether the relationship can continue in its current form at all.
My work offers a space where these dynamics can be slowed down and thought about together, without pressure to resolve them prematurely.
How I work with couples
I work relationally, using a steady, conversational approach that can hold complexity without becoming adversarial or performative. Sessions are not about assigning fault or applying techniques, but about understanding how each of you experiences the relationship and how those experiences interact over time.
My normal cadence of work is fortnightly, allowing space for reflection, integration of insights and thoughtful consideration of the relational process between sessions. I pay close attention to what is said, what is avoided and what emerges between you in the room. Over time, this allows patterns to become clearer and different choices to become possible.
Where ADHD or other neurodivergence is present, it is approached as a relational reality rather than an individual deficit. Differences in attention, emotional regulation, time, sensory processing and communication are made more visible and less costly for both partners.
Difference, sexuality and relationship structure
Relationships do not all conform to the same assumptions about sex, exclusivity or power. When difference is not easily spoken about, it can quickly become a source of anxiety, misunderstanding or shame.
I work comfortably with couples whose lives include kink, non-monogamy or other forms of sexual or relational difference. These are not treated as problems in themselves, nor are they reduced to identity markers. They are understood in context, alongside attachment, communication, neurodivergence and personal history.
Much of the work involves developing language that allows difference to be held without threat or collapse.
Sexual compulsivity and intimacy
Some couples seek therapy because sexual behaviour has become a source of rupture, secrecy or loss of trust. This has often be named using terms such as sex addiction or porn addiction.
My approach reflects a shift away from simple addiction models towards a more relational understanding of sexual compulsivity. These patterns are rarely about behaviour alone. They are often shaped by regulation, attachment, shame, trauma, neurodivergence and the wider sexual culture in which we now live.
In couples work, the focus is on how these dynamics impact intimacy, meaning and safety within the relationship, and on how something different might become possible over time.
Working online and in person
I work with couples face to face in Bristol and online. I have worked online for many years and find it can be an effective way of doing couples therapy when sessions take place in a private, shared or individual space with a stable internet connection and a suitable size screen.
Online work can be particularly helpful where travel, work patterns or neurodivergent needs make in-person sessions difficult.
When couples are considering separation
Couples therapy is not only about staying together. Sometimes the work involves recognising that a relationship is coming to an end and finding ways to navigate that process with greater clarity, care and respect.
My role is to support thoughtful decision-making and to reduce unnecessary harm, particularly where children or long-standing emotional bonds are involved.
Availability and enquiries
Information about my current availability is shown on the home page of this site. Even if I am fully booked, you are welcome to get in touch, as I may be aware of upcoming changes.
If what you have read here resonates, you are welcome to contact me to discuss whether working together might be helpful.
You can read more about my couples work on the website www.relationship-therapy-bristol.co.uk
TherapyPlace.org
Face-to-face and online counselling, psychotherapy, coaching and sex therapy for men, women and couples
